Note from the Pastor

Several weeks ago while preparing our young people for Confirmation I queried them about some of the saints’ names they had chosen. Tell me about little Theresa and Elizabeth Seaton? Why are they so special? You’ve chosen Saint Anthony? Which one? Oh, the one who finds lost things because you are always losing your house keys. That makes sense. And why did you choose the name Jude? Who told you that you were a hopeless cause?

Ah, the Saints! We love the saints. They are our very own Christian action figures. Their stories, though different are all the same. They love the Lord, they screw things up, they pick themselves up, they fight on, they fall apart and in the end win the crown of victory (not by their efforts but by God’s grace). And each saint has a specialty. Saint Joseph for protection, Our Lady of Guadalupe for the unborn, Saint Peregrine for cancer and Saint Anthony (the other Saint Anthony) is the patron saint of pigs (swine flu, be gone). That’s the Anthony who is my patron saint. I chose him because he is always pictured with his finger over his lips trying to tell me something.

Now, everyone in the state of grace is a saint. Last week I named all of our first communicants as little saints because indeed they are. But the church also canonizes (sets in stone) certain individuals that she proclaims to be in Heaven. To be a canonized saint, you need at least two miracles. Mother Theresa of Calcutta is working on her second miracle now (or is it the third?). Pope John XXIII (my personal favorite) and JPII are also on the fast track looking for miracles. May I suggest another? Her name is Mother Boniface of Philadelphia.

Mother Boniface was a superior of an obscure order back East who worked with the poor in the slums and ghettos of Philadelphia. While she did wonderful work for the most forgotten of people, her demeanor was less than lady like. She looked like a dock worker and had the mouth of a sailor on leave. She was tough as nails (nine inch nails) and minced no words. Whatever she said, she meant. Now, she loved the poor but hated the city for one particular reason. No matter where she went to work on their behalf, she couldn’t find a place to park.

On her death bed, when everyone was singing her praises and proclaiming her a saint she shouted out, “You want to make me a saint? Then I need to give you some miracles. When I am dead, pray to me and then I will show you what I can do from the other side. I have been driving around this damn city for the last forty years looking for a place to park. Pray to me and I will find one for you. That should be miracle enough. “

Now, I have prayed to many saints for many different things but I have to tell you Boniface almost never fails. You cannot pray to her in the usual way. She doesn’t do sweet and syrupy. You need to pray to her the way she talked on earth. “Boniface, I want a parking space and I want it now! Do you hear me? Are you listening? I said now, #*!#*!” I have been in absolutely full parking lots and after yelling at Boniface witness a space open right before my eyes almost every time.

I must warn you, however, if you invoke Boniface you had better do it right. That means rough and tumble. But don’t you dare forget her name. A retired judge friend of mine once invoked her to find a parking space but couldn’t remember her name. “Ah, I can’t remember your name, but find me a space to park now.” The space opened up miraculously. He parked the car and when he returned, he discovered every car around his was immaculately clean and his utterly covered with bird poop (and Boniface would not have used that word). Don’t mess with Boniface. But do give her a try…she works.

In Jesus and all his saints in glory,

Father Tony