Dear Friends,
Last week, a parishioner asked me how forgiveness can be encouraged. His question would not leave me. While he may have had a particular situation in mind, each of us has struggled with the question of forgiveness at some time in our lives, in some place deep in our hearts. Perhaps it was a question about how to forgive a husband or wife, our children, or our parents. Perhaps we have struggled with forgiving criminals, terrorists. Perhaps we have struggled with forgiving church leaders.
Forgiveness does not excuse abuse, violence, betrayal or other kinds of sinful behavior, and it does not mean allowing it to continue. This is important to remember. Forgiveness does not mean that an abused woman should stay in a marriage. Forgiveness does not mean that the people of the church should demand anything less than honesty and integrity in its leaders and protection of its children. Forgiveness does not mean that there are not consequences for sinful actions.
So what does forgiveness mean? Put simply, I think it means learning to love like Jesus. However, this is simple only in the fact that it can be said in one sentence! Each of us on this Christian journey is a work-in-progress. No one of us has it all right, all together. No one of us has all the understanding. No one of us is yet able to love perfectly, to love completely, all of the time. Our personalities, our personal histories, our experiences in life, and our own sinfulness all affect our relationships with each other.
Forgiveness has much more to do with ourselves than with those who have wronged us. The ability to forgive depends upon our willingness to change our own hearts. It is not dependent upon whether or not the offender changes his or her behavior. Paradoxically, however, the extent to which we are able to forgive may empower them to change themselves. This is really what was at the heart of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s message about non-violent resistance. Forgiveness has the power to change hearts. Whether or not the behavior of others is changed, forgiving changes us. When we are able to develop more genuine interior freedom, when we become able to forgive in a way that comes from deep within ourselves and is not determined by outside circumstances, we are more fully alive in a way that becomes life-giving to others around us.
You know the old saying, "It is easier said than done." Surely, this can apply here! It goes against our human nature to think of forgiveness as an act of freedom. Whether we want to admit it or not, we often think of forgiveness as something that should be earned or deserved. More then this, some hurts are so deep, so painful, that it almost seems impossible to think that anything life-giving could follow.
And yet, this is the heart of our Christian faith. We believe in the power of resurrection. We believe that the power of forgiveness can bring eternal life. When it comes to forgiveness, how can we even begin to love like Jesus?
In Cistercian Studies, Dr. Bernice Bruteau writes about authentic freedom in life and the importance of loving persons in the present. If we relate ourselves only to the past deeds of others, she says, we will always be at least one step behind where they are in the present. In a very intriguing way, Bruteau says that when we do this, we are not really in relationship with the other, but only with "their remains."
If we consider forgiveness as a way of relating to others in the present, relating to them as persons who are moment-by-moment capable of creating their life anew, and if we carefully attend to our own sense of being alive persons with life-giving capacities, then forgiveness becomes an act of making the future, rather than being a statement about the past. Bruteau likens this kind of living and forgiving to the saying in scripture, "Let the dead bury their dead."
This passage is included in both the Gospel of Matthew and the Gospel of Luke. It is good to be reminded of the scriptures in their entirety. In Matthew, Jesus says, "Follow me and let the dead bury their dead." In Luke, he says, "Let the dead bury their dead. But you, go and proclaim the Kingdom of God." In teaching us how to live and to love, Jesus is always leading us into a future beyond death, beyond the power of sin, into a kingdom that we can build on earth as it is in heaven.
To become able to forgive like Jesus means we must look more within ourselves than at the deeds of others. It involves a free act of the will to be life-giving persons because that is the way we want to be, rather than having our choices determined by the behavior of others or events outside of ourselves.
It is not always easy to think of ourselves or others as more than the collective substance of the events of lives or our individual actions in life or our personalities. It entails becoming able to look at things from a spiritual, rather than strictly psychological, perspective. If, along the way of our Christian journey, we can become better able to love like Jesus, forgiving others by leaving death and sin behind and loving one another in the present moment, then we can help to create a new future. It is in following the call of Jesus to love one another that we become who God is calling us to be. And it is in love that comes the invitation for conversion, for change of heart, even in ourselves.
Mary Foley, Pastoral Life Coordinator
Effective Choices, Effecting Parenting Offering a variety of workshops and seminars to assist you in becoming the parent you want to be. Winning Cooperation with the Elementary Age Child For parents of children ages 5 - 12 Thursday, September 29, at 7 - 9 P.M. At Catholic Charities in Lombard This two-hour workshop helps parents build on their existing strengths in order to win greater cooperation with their elementary aged children. In addition, it assists them in providing their children with the tools they need to survive and thrive in today's society. For info or to pre-register, please call 630-710-8226 $20 per person; $25 per couple; Pre-registration is required. Prayer Requests To pray for our sick is an important privilege of our parish family. We hope that you will pray for these persons every day, alone or as a family. Thank you. Pam Bondfide Heather Brennan Kathleen Bryers Pat Caffarelli Rose Caffarelli Kathy Calzante Family of Cynthia Catalano Cosmore Ciancio Paul Cirone Margaret Conroy Rhonda Colletti Trudi Dolato Gerald Foley Dino Fuggitti Anna Heffel Jen Huwalt Tom Huwalt Pat Holmes Maureen James Tom Janicke Valorie Kaffka Irene Kmieciak Bernadette Kohn John Lane Baby Emma Lynde Robert Manion Bobbi Nannini Vincent Scilluffo Eleanor Sikorski Jeff Smith Karen Sutkus Cathy Ward If you or a family member would like to be included in our prayers, please call the rectory at 279-5700. Also, please let us know when a name should be removed. Special Family Event! Fr. Ed Shea, O.F.M. Tuesday, September 27 at 7:00 p.m. In the Church Franciscan Father Ed Shea will be with us for a unique presentation geared for families talking about the meaning of Eucharist in our lives. A man who loves to sing and tell stories, Father Ed thrives on celebrating the sacraments of the Church. A true follower of St. Francis, this Franciscan finds reasons to rejoice often in the goodness of God present in our world. Father Ed has spend most of his priesthood in parish work and is presently Pastor of St. Joseph Church, an inner city Church in Chicago's famous Back of the Yards neighborhood. "Evening Under the Stars" Auction/Dinner Dance It's time to invite your families and friends to attend the "Evening Under the Stars" Auction/Dinner Dance which will take place at Alta Villa Banquets in Addison on Friday, October 7. Cocktails at 6:30 p.m. and dinner at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are being sold after all the Masses this weekend. Get your reservation in now as we have only one more weekend left before the event. The Ticket Donation is $35 per person. Whether you're a single, a couple or a group, you will be assigned a table when your reservation is made. Should you wish to reserve a table of ten for your group, we will hold the reservation for one week. If payment for the tickets is not received at the end of that week, the table will be made available to other individuals or parties. Call your friends and relatives and invite them to join you at this enjoyable occasion. Besides being a perfect opportunity to purchase auction items at great prices as gifts for the holidays or special occasions, the music is great for dancing and the food is delicious. The menu for the evening includes Soup, Salad, Beef, Chicken, Baked Potato, Green Beans Almondine, Dessert, Coffee or Tea and 2 complimentary Bottles of Wine per table. This is the eighth year for our "Evening Under the Stars" Auction/Dinner Dance, and those who have attended in the past are anticipating another wonderful evening of relaxation and fun. Diane & Joel Bernstein are in charge of the ticket sales and are looking forward to booking a table for you, your families and friends. If you have any questions, they can be reached at 279- 7252. 2 We are still seeking donations for both the Live and Silent Auctions from parishioners and businesses. If you would like to donate something or give a monetary donation, please call Donna Glick (833-5725), Teri Kevil (279-4165) Phylis Twardowski (279- 6239) or Mary White (833-9809). They will arrange for pick-up of your donation. The proceeds from this benefit will be used to help support our Church Mission of reaching out to those who are hungry, sick and otherwise in need; supporting our youth; and supporting the various ministries in our parish which allow us to live our lives through faith, hope and loving service to all. Religious Education News Our RE classes are in full swing. Please be very, very careful in the parking lot on Wednesday afternoons and evenings. We can still use some help in the parking lot, if you have some time on Wednesdays to help keep our little ones and big ones too safe, please call us. Also remember that all little ones from Pre-School through Grade 2 must be escorted to the door of their classroom. The same is true for pick up at the end of the session. Help! Just this past week we lost a 3rd grade catechist. If there is any way that you can help in Gr. 3 at Session 1, 3:15-4:30PM, please call us ASAP. This is truly an emergency situation. Registrations If you have not as yet registered, please do so ASAP. We are still accepting registrations for all grade levels except Kindergarten which is full. Mark your calendar: Tuesday, September 27, at 7-8:30 p.m. in Church. Fr. Ed Shea will speak on the Eucharist. This is a family event and all are invited. This is especially important for families who have a child celebrating first Eucharist in the spring. We expect to see all our Gr. 2 families and children. Please call the office if you have a conflict with the above date. For more info on any of the above, please call Mary Ann Woods at the REO, 832-8962. Day of Renewal The Way to the Father's Heart Presented by Mother Nadine Founder and Director, Intercessors of the Lamb Saturday, October 8 8:30 a.m.-3:00 p.m. At Notre Dame Church, Clarendon Hills For more details, call 630-964-0216. Presented by Diocese of Joliet Catholic Charismatic Renewal Catholic Charities Seeks Board Members Catholic Charities is actively seeking people to serve on its local Board of Directors for DuPage County. Board members are responsible for assisting in program promotion, public relations, fundraising and advocacy efforts on the local and state level. Board members meet six times a year in the Catholic Charities office located in Lombard. Catholic Charities serves individuals, children and families in areas that include homelessness prevention, emergency assistance with basic needs, housing for low-income families, counseling, foster care, adoption and maternity services for women facing an unplanned pregnancy. If you are interested in learning more about being a board member, or volunteering at Catholic Charities, please call Rosemary Echevarria at 630-495- 8008. Senior Fair offers facts, freebies, fun October 14, from 8:30 a.m. till 12:30 p.m. At DuPage County Fairgrounds, Wheaton. Many free health services will be available, including blood pressure, glucose (2-hour fast, water & medication allowed), vision, hearing, podiatry and bone density screenings. For a nominal charge, DuPage County residents can obtain flu shots. (Flu shots are subject to availability, and appointments may be needed.) A representative from the Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program will accept applications and provide information about help with heating bills. Representatives will also offer information and assistance about the new Medicare D prescription drug coverage. For information, call DuPage County's Senior Citizen Services at 630-407-6500 or toll-free at 1-800-942-9412. Parish Pastoral Council Meeting Monday, September 26, 2005 Barrett Hall, 7:00 P.M. The Parish Pastoral Council meeting is an open meeting. All parishioners are invited to attend and observe the meeting. The final 15 minutes of each meeting is reserved for parishioner comments and/or questions. Understandably, not all questions can be answered during the parishioner comment portion of the meeting. When this is the case, unaddressed concerns will be considered for referral either to one of the commissions, to a subsequent Parish Pastoral Council meeting, or to the staff. PPC meetings typically last for about 2 hours. Minutes of Parish Pastoral Council meetings will be displayed in the back of the church. Catholic Explorer Weekend September 24-25, 2005 The Catholic Explorer is the official newspaper of the Diocese of Joliet. Wouldn't you like to know more about what's happening at the Vatican, in hot spots across the globe, in the legislature-both state and federal, and at home in the Diocese of Joliet, from a Catholic perspective? A one-year subscription costs $20.00. Subscription envelopes are enclosed in today's bulletin. Why not consider a subscription for your family, or as a gift! MQH Men's Group Parish Picnic The Men's Group would like to thank all those parishioners who helped step up to contribute to the success of this year's picnic. A special word of thanks to this year's picnic coordinators - Bob Glick, Tom Conroy and Ed Hayes. Also a very big thank-you to Steve and Kathy Rhea & family who donated the amusements that were a very big hit with the youngest parishioners. The whole family was in the act in coordinating set-up and take down. A tremendous contribution - and so nice to see a family work together! Lastly - thanks to those other parish groups and individual parishioners who contributed volunteer/time to run events and monitor games, etc. The Picnic is successful due to the efforts of many stepping forward to lend a hand - thank you all! Next meeting, Wednesday, October 12, at the Odeum, 2nd floor, 8:30 p.m. We will be discussing the 05-06 calendar. All members are encouraged to attend. St. Vincent dePaul Committee Meeting Thursday, September 29, 7:30 p.m. in Mary's Gathering Area Thank you to all our catechists, aides, hall monitors, parking lot helpers, office helpers, etc. etc. We have close to 80 volunteers who make our program work. We are much blessed by their presence. If you see any of our wonderful volunteers, please say "Thank You". Also please keep them and all of the staff, families, and children in your prayers. Scripture Study is Back! Sign-Up Next Weekend, October 1 and 2, after each Mass. This 11-week series on the Gospel according to Luke will begin the week of October 10 and will run for 6 weeks, take a short "holiday break," and pick up again for 5 weeks after the first of the year. Schedule: Week of Oct. 10 through week of Nov. 14, 2005 BREAK Week of Jan. 9 through week of Feb. 6, 2006 Let St. Luke help you prepare for Advent and Christmas, and then begin the New Year! Cost: $10-covers Gospel of Luke Text and Commentary, and the Study Guide. (Don't let the cost deter you. Talk to Mary Foley at the Parish Office, 279-5700, for assistance).