Dear Friends,
Today, I would like to address some pastoral and sacramental issues.
MARRIAGE AND ANNULMENTS
This week, I heard someone say that they would never apply for an annulment because they had children from their first marriage and this would say to the children that the first marriage never existed. There continues to be confusion and misconceptions about annulments. Moreover, I believe that the Church has grown more sensitive to the dimensions of married life in general, as well as the psychological and spiritual development of the individuals involved. There is also much greater awareness of the pressure that certain conditions, like pregnancy at the time of marriage, can place on a person's true freedom to marry.
The Church honors the sacrament of marriage as something that not only enriches the couple but through them, is a gift of life to the faith community. The witness that married couples give to faithfulness and deep love is a powerful sign in a society in which persons are terribly fearful of making commitments, whether to persons or institutions. The witness of married love can help others become better able to trust, even in God. The Church defends Christian marriage as a sacred bond that cannot be broken.
Having said this, the Church also understands that sometimes there are conditions present which make it impossible for a marriage to be a true sacramental union. There are a number of possible reasons for this. (Some examples would be: pressures at the time of marriage that impeded true consent, or psychological considerations of the persons involved.) That is why the Church considers annulments. Just as importantly, an annulment application provides divorced persons with the opportunity to seriously reflect on their prior marriage in a way that can bring greater understanding and healing into their lives, perhaps preparing them to enter more fully into another marriage in the future. The prior union is still recognized as a legal civil marriage.
The present annulment process in the Church is not perfect and could be more pastoral. However, there has never been a person I have worked with in an annulment application who has not ultimately found it to be of value in their lives. I would encourage anyone who is divorced, especially those already involved in a second marriage, to consider an annulment as something that can be an aid in healing and in maturing, psychologically and spiritually. For those involved in second marriages, an annulment would allow you to have your new marriage blessed by the church. If you have children who will be preparing for sacraments, you will find it helpful to yourselves to complete this process with the church. I am already helping several members of our parish with annulment applications. If reading this article has touched your heart, please call me and I would be happy to help you.
Two final thoughts on marriage and divorce. Unfortunately, while Tribunal officials have become more sensitive and understanding, sometimes regular church folks can be insensitive and even cruel toward those who are divorced. We have all suffered pain in our lives and we have all suffered some form of broken relationship. Just because someone is divorced does not mean they are not in good standing in the church. They may receive the sacraments and may be involved in ministries. (In order to remain in good standing, they must receive an annulment of their first marriage if they are remarried.) As we have all known in our lives, many times, new life may emerge from very painful experiences. This is most likely to occur when we have the love and support of others. I hope that is what we will always model for people here at Mary Queen.
Finally, as I have said before, our parish is blessed to have more long-lived, happy and healthy marriages than any parish I have been in before. I do think this is what helps us to have such a great sense of family here at Mary Queen of Heaven. I want to thank our married couples for the faithful witness they give, day by day, to others. Recently, I was delighted to have a young engaged couple I am working with tell me that they are going to approach a couple in the parish as marriage mentors. They are already working with one couple in our parish pre-Cana program, but they recognize that they will need to continue to learn more about marriage after pre-Cana is over. As they have begun to get involved in our parish, they have seen in other married people what they would like to have in their marriage. This story gives testimony to the value of the sacrament of Christian marriage for all of us. I thank all of our married couples for the devotion, self-sacrifice, and love that they model for us.
ABORTION
In the recent election, we heard a great deal, from different perspectives, about life issues. Here at Mary Queen of Heaven, I hope that we will always emphasize a consistent ethic of life, something that I am deeply committed to, as are the greater body of bishops in our country. This means that we will support the dignity of life at all times and in all circumstances. Others have a narrower, and sometimes more strident, perspective limited to abortion. I am aware that the ways that abortion is talked about can be very painful for those who have been through this experience, or who have been affected by this decision in the lives of others. I want to publicize a retreat coming up for post abortion reconciliation and healing for men and women. A Rachel's Vineyard Retreat is scheduled for November 19-21 (and another on April 29-May 1) at the St. Charles Borromeo Pastoral Center in Romeoville. Private individual counseling can be arranged. For more information, please contact me at the parish office or visit www.rachelsvineyard.org, or call the toll-free hotline 1-877-HOPE-4ME.
THE YEAR OF THE EUCHARIST AND LITURGICAL CHANGES
This has been named the Year of the Eucharist by Pope John Paul II. In the coming months, there will be more articles appearing related to the Eucharist. There have also been some important liturgical changes concerning distribution of communion. These will be explained in the weeks to come. They do affect the responsibilities of Eucharistic Ministers and some new changes must be implemented by the first Sunday of Advent. For this reason, all Eucharistic Ministers are required to attend a mandatory training (even those who went through the recent session). You may choose one of two dates, Sat. November 13 at 10:30 am, or Tues. Nov. 23 at 7 pm. You must attend this training to continue serving after the start of Advent. Please call the parish office to sign up for one of the sessions.
Have a great week, and may God continue to bless you.
Mary Foley, Pastoral Life Coordinator